0.00 1,000.00

ALIEN ROAD PUNKS: A Post Non-Existential Surrealist Running Gang

Welcome to Alien Road Punks,

We are a band of devoted athletes who recreationally use running for it’s mind altering, psychoactive and euphoric effects. Do you want to join our club?

Being an Alien Road Punk means pushing yourself to new limits while supporting those around you in doing the same.

We love running very long distances, we love running up hills, we love running around and around and around a track as fast we can. We love giving kids high fives at races and congratulating other runners. The bonds are strong between us and positivity keeps it all afloat.

Our first unofficial mascot is “stoned bugs,” who I lifted from the t-shirt of a very nice lady I met at an underfunded Mayan excavation near Tulum in 2016.

The SHIRTS ARE FREE. But you must submit a 1000 word (minimum) essay to the current members of the Alien Road Punks. If selected, I will send you a shirt for no charge.

Your essay must be about running or your equivalent mind altering vocation.

Please direct reasonable questions to

sold out
Add To Cart